The Winkelman Family

Trying to balance it all

2011-04-19T23:48:00.000-07:00

Wow, life has been quite the balancing act lately. Since starting my photography business a little over a year ago, I have become so insanely busy. I'm trying so hard to stay afloat but I'm not gonna lie.. it's been nuts. Luckily I have an amazing husband that helps me with editing and my website and building backdrops and watching the kids while I shoot... and... I could go on and on. He's been amazing through this whole experience and has been so selfless. One thing that I've had a really hard time adjusting to are the late nights of editing. I try to go to bed by midnight (because my kids never sleep later than 6:30am... bleh) but some nights it's closer to 1 or 2am and the next day I am really just dragging. 4-5 hours of sleep just aren't enough, especially when it's day in and day out. Plus, I really feel like Dane and I going to bed at different times is just sad. So I am trying to enlist my project manager husband to help me schedule my time better and I may even charge more for my photo shoots soon. I haven't wanted to because I don't want to be to pricey, but at the same time I am completely booked out for the next month and a half so I feel it wouldn't be a bad idea.
Another thing I have been trying to balance is buying a house. We are in escrow right now and are planning to move into our very first house in about 3 weeks. All this packing and cleaning with 2 little tykes running around feels pretty ineffective. I pack up a box and leave it there for five minutes (to find the packing tape, which they hid) and when I come back 1/2 of the box is unpacked. Goodness, having kids is fun.
We are also super involved in church- Dane is the YM varsity coach (he works with all the 14-15 year old boys) and I am the 1st counselor in the Relief Society. We have meetings at my house every other week for R.S. and lots of responsibilities and Dane goes on overnight campouts once a month and has the boys over to our house most Wednesday nights.
And did I mention we have 2 little kids that are full of energy? I want to cherish my time with them and so I don't edit or do photo shoots during the day (unless Dane is home) and I'm doing my best to be a good mom and teach them and love them and give them all the snuggles that I can. Luckily I have tons of pictures of them and someday hopefully I will have some time to edit them. Haha, someday? Does it ever get easier?

Planning

2011-01-18T23:09:00.001-08:00

I have a major problem that is really affecting my life lately: I am a terrible planner. I love to make endless lists of all the things I want to get done, but I have no game plan of how I'm going to do it. By the end of the day I feel so disappointed with myself because I feel like I have a million things to do and I could do them, yet I just can't fit it all in. But I also have time to mosey around the house, check facebook a million times, pick my nose and chat on the phone. Don't get me wrong here, I am taking care of a 4 year old and 18 month old, I am 1st counselor in my Relief Society, we are trying to buy a house, I have my own photography business that's taking off, I am trying to get Jet ready for Kindergarten (and to find a good school... preferably a charter school here in the area), I'm trying to be a devoted wife and to be spiritually sound, I have bills to pay and a house to clean and groceries to purchase and food to make and laundry to do. I have animals to take care of (2 dogs, a cat and a fish) and I workout everyday. You would THINK that I am a really good planner since I would have to be with this crazy schedule but the truth is, I really have no idea what the heck I am doing. I seriously go through my day like a chicken with it's head cut off. It was working okay for a while but then I started snapping at my kids and snapping even more at Dane. I'd blame him for every little problem that came my way because to be completely honest, I didn't even have time to think about anything sensible! I was just going full speed in every direction. I sorta hit rock bottom tonight and the tears came a-flowin. Nobody can live like I was for very long.
Dane is SO amazing. As I was sitting in front of him like a lunatic, crying my eyeballs out and making no sense except that I was too busy, he helped me realize that my life is so crazy because I'm doing everything on a whim. I don't plan things out at all. The kids eat whenever, I eat whenever, I edit photos whenever, I clean whenever, etc etc. My life would have so much more purpose and fulfillment if I actually planned out my day. It's quite ironic and amazing that although I am such a terrible planner, I am actually married to someone who is a PROJECT MANAGER. haha, he does this stuff day in and day out. He is such a pro, and he knows that things don't work when you don't have a good plan. He also offered to make dinner 3 nights a week and to help me edit and clean. What the heck. I am mean to him and he repays me with love. Wow.
So... starting tomorrow I have my phone alarm set for 7:30am and at that time I am planning out my day. No ifs, ands or butts. Wish me luck.

Bad mother, great kids

2010-11-15T21:42:00.000-08:00

Some people might think that I am a bad mom, but I don't care. For example:
-Both my kids end up in bed with us every night and I don't put them back into their beds. I let them snug to their heart's content. I've heard a million times that it might make them clingy and that they'll just have a harder time staying in their own beds in the future. But I want as many snugs as I can get so I'm keeping them with us. It makes me feel SOO happy.
-I still nurse June if she wakes up at night... yep she is 17 months old on Friday. Everyone probably thinks I'm a weirdo and I've thought about stopping because I don't want to tell people that I still nurse June. It's so lame that I would care. June loves it, as do I.
-I take my kids on road trips ALL THE TIME. I'm talking at least once a month, but usually more. Utah, Northern Cali, San Diego,etc. Most people would probably think that's hard on the kids but I don't want to be without them. They'd rather be with Dane & I on our adventures than with a babysitter. I'm just hoping that they'll be able to go to places like Haiti and Uganda sooner than later. It would be SOOOO good for them.
-I spend more time playing with my kids than I do cleaning. My house might have more germs, but I hear that it just strengthens their immune systems anyway. They won't remember a clean house but they will remember how good they felt when we had tickle wars and puppet shows and a gazillion art projects.
-We don't have tons of money because I am a stay at home mom. They can't have the fanciest toys or the nicest clothes but they have my full, undivided attention 24/7. I hope that's worth something. :)

Utah

2010-10-20T20:20:00.000-07:00

I'm such a loser and my blog can prove it. I always post that I'm BACK and how it's going to be so great and then poof, I am gone. It's so funny because as I go throughout my day I think about all the things I'm gonna blog about, yet they never actually show up.
Anyway, I just took a trip to Utah. I drove alone with the two kids. Yep, just me and the kiddos... 4 year old Jet and 1 year old June. It was a freaking ton of work but it was super fun. I had to cram in SOO much while I was there and only got a fraction in. Utah still feels like home to me. I really grew up there because as soon an I graduated high school (at age 17) I moved out to Orem and then went to college there, met my husband Dane there, got pregnant there, and had my first baby there. I lived there over 7 years! That's almost 1/4 of my life! OKay, back to my trip.
So I drove out there which took about 10 hours and I decided to do it in one big chunk. I just wanted to get it over with. While I was there I got to stay with my amazingly awesome cousin Kat and her husband Travis. She is super cute with a shaved head (to support her mom who is going through chemo for breast cancer). She took me all over the place, including a store I had never been to called Hobby Lobby. Okay, that place is seriously a little piece of heaven. And that place could honestly get me in so much trouble if I lived there. They have EVERYTHING and a gazillion sales. No fair. We also went to Thanksgiving Point and we walked through the little stores. More adorable stuff. So DANG cute but pretty expensive. Once again, no fair. Let's see, we also went to IKEA where I found some great photo props (of course IKEA came to Utah the month we moved away). Jet LOVED the play room and all the kids in Utah. Ya, kids are everywhere there and pretty scarce around here. Poor boy. We also went to the Orem mall which was pretty much the same but outside of the mall they have this huge new movie theater and a pirate restaurant that Jet went nuts over. He thought that all the waiters there were real pirates and asked if they could turn him into one. :)
While we were there I HAD to go antique shopping and go to this darling little store called Trendy Tots. I had never been there but I knew they had adorable baby stuff which would rock in the baby photog department. So I went there and holy sheesh, I seriously was sooooo inspired. I wanna decorate June's room like that. For those of you that live in Utah and have kids and money, (or like to dream, like me) then you HAVE TO go visit. They have the CUTEST little handmade headbands, clothes, toys, decor, you name it. I found a couple little treasures but had to be careful. I wanna keep my husband. :) As far as antique shopping goes, I got to visit my aunt's consignment shop called, "Mona Lisa" and also down the street from her we found an antique sale taking place in someones yard. And there it was. The trunk I was looking for. Only $40!!! That is unheard of! You'll see it in my poppy tree photos shortly.
I also got to stay with my older brother Ryan whom I love and adore. He works at the SLC library and was soooo cute. He checked out like 20 books and 15 DVDs for Jet. He let us stay the night at his place and even babysat Jet the next day so that I could go to a bridal shower. They had tons of fun... making projects, going out to pizza, watching a movie & playing together. I'm sad that my kids don't get to see him more often. Jet was super excited to see Ryan. He freaked out when he saw him and screamed, "Ryan!" and ran up the stairs to hug him. Ryan was so nice and took us on a tour of the library and both my kids loved the children's area. It's so great for kids. If I lived there I would seriously take them everyday. Bah.
I also got to stay with my super pregnant, super cute, super fun friend Ali. She has 2 kids already and Jet knows them really well because we went to Hawaii together a few months ago. They had a BLAST to put it lightly. We took them to Boondocks (an arcade/jungle gym/mini golf etc place), an awesome fabric store (okay, maybe I had more fun there), a kids consignment store called Kid to Kid, McDonalds, and let them play together for hours in the backyard at Ali's house. They have a trampoline, a playhouse, and huge lawn, bikes, and tons of great stuff for kids. My little stinkers were so happy. Ali was such a good sport taking us all over the place, considering she is 34 weeks along and has gestational diabetes. She is SOOO dang tough, that woman.
Oh ya, I forgot to mention this amazing fabric store that my cousin Kat took me to in South Jordan. It's called Material Girls. They had loads of Amy Butler fabric and tons of other amazing stuff, including patterns. Someday if I have time to sew again, I'm going to make some stuff because I bought a couple patterns. I like to think that I have more time than I do.
I feel like this has been an advertisement for stores. Haha, oh well. I really wanna talk about my trip home because it was honestly insane but I'm gonna save it for another day. My fingers are tired. :) Good night!

Growing

2010-08-21T21:33:00.000-07:00

Why do my babies keep growing so dang fast? I am seriously turning into an emotional wreck because my kids are SO awesome and they are happy and love life and are perfect to me. And they just keep growing which means they are going to leave. Maybe there is something wrong with me but I think about this A LOT. I seriously cry about this at least once a week while I am rocking June to sleep and stroking her little forehead or when Jet brings me a bouquet of dandelions he found in the backyard. Their presence in our home has completely changed the atmosphere because they are such sweet little spirits. And now that June and Jet are interacting more, it's one of the most beautiful things EVER to watch them laugh and play together. Gosh, Jet is so awesome. He doesn't care if he looks like a complete dork. He wears a costume any chance he can get... today it was a Batman mask and cape, and last week it was a giraffe. He'll go out like that and sing at the top of his lungs as we go up and down the isles in the grocery store. He says hi to everyone we see and then usually asks them a question about why they are doing what they are doing. He cares so much about other people. I LOVE my Jetty Jet.
And June is seriously the sweetest little treat that the Lord has ever made. I don't know how to handle it sometimes. She is so delicate and dainty and yet she is so fun. She has the cutest little laugh and smile and LOVES her big brother. She also LOOOOOVES her daddy and the superman rides he gives her. She loves them so much that when Dane gives rides to Jet, she screams bloody murder until it is her turn again. I really want someone to take good care of her someday. It's so crazy to imagine that when she gets married she will belong to someone else and that I will have to trust them to take care of my little girl. What the. I have no idea how I am going to be able to do that. Sheesh.
Dane just gave me a hug and said, "Well, we are so lucky to have them. Let's enjoy every minute. And when we're with them, let's give them our full attention." I married such an awesome man. I am SO grateful that when my sweet little angels are grown and gone, my darling dear will be by my side.

Jet's shoes

2010-08-19T11:03:00.001-07:00

About a week ago I bought Jet some new shoes. I was REALLY hesitant about buying them because 1) they are really ugly 2) I don't like giving into the whole "commercial" thing 3) I totally gave in and let Jet get something that I didn't want him to have. Now I am feeling a little guilty about it and I wish I could take them back, but Jet has already worn them in with paint splatters and mud. I guess we'll just have to keep them. But next time I buy him some shoes, they are going to be from a no-name corner store in China town.

Keeping it real with Kim

2010-07-23T13:01:00.001-07:00

I think I'm ready to get back into blogging. I feel like I always have an excuse to NOT blog but to be honest I think I should just do it. As I go throughout my day I always think to myself, "Hey, I should blog about this!" But then I don't. It's sort of messing with my mind because I'll think that I DID blog about it (because I wanted to) but then I don't. Enough about that.
So the photography stuff is really taking off. Almost too quickly. I'm having some trouble keeping up with it, mostly due to the high demands of caring for two young children, trying to be a lovely wife and just a sane person in general. But since I am married to a project manager, he is going to help me come up with a solid game plan to help this run a lot smoother and to see what I can and can't do. Taking the pictures is the easy part. It really doesn't take much time at all. And shopping for props? Well that's no problem at all. I could shop antique stores all day (if Dane would let me and we had unlimited funds). But editing takes FOREVER. Seriously it takes so freaking long. I would say about 30 minutes per picture, and a photoshoot of one child is usually about 20 pictures. So 20x30=600/60=10. I'm spending about 10 hours on editing alone. And let me just say that most photo shoots AREN'T just one child. They are usually 2 or 3. And I add in about 10 pictures per each additional child. Right now I bumped up my price to $100 (because hello, at $50 I was making about $4 an hour). So now I'm closer to minimum wage. Haha, I don't think people realize how much of a freaking good deal they are getting on me. And I give them a disc too.
I hope someday soon I can charge more because at this rate I will have a hard time keeping it real.

Where is Kim?

2010-06-07T10:47:00.000-07:00

Whew! I have been craAazy busy this last month getting things underway with my new photography business and also trying to balance being a good mother and wife and friend. It's been a little bit of a challenge because I refuse to let my family get pushed aside while I'm getting this all started. Luckliy, I have a WONDERFUL husband who is insane and does SO MUCH for me. It's crazy. He seriously has the biggest heart and helps me feel so balanced. He also helps with the kids whenever I have a shoot or need to edit or anything. He also "fixed" the blogsite I've been working on. I'm so dumb with computers and tried to make a blog... Dane had to completely erase everything I'd done and start over and finished what I'd been working on for days in like 2 hours. Haha. I'm so glad I have him.
So anyway, my new blog is just about ready for all y'all to check out and I can't wait! I have lots and lots of photoshoots to post on there. Word of mouth has been the best advertisement! And my business cards are just about ready as well. It's all coming together, it's crazy. When I decide I want to do something, there is no stopping me. :)

Meditation

2010-05-13T10:27:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was about 15 or so, I gave a talk in church about this importance of prayer and meditation. I gained a solid testimony of the power of meditation and just sitting in silence, breathing, praying and contemplating. It is so crucial and important for our well-being. Well, my life for the last few years has been pretty hectic having 2 kids and a million cajillion distraction. But one of the best BEST things about those babies is that they have FORCED me to relax and meditate. And it is simply beautiful. When I nurse June which is about every 4-5 hours, I am forced to just sit still and be quiet and hold my sweet baby. When Jet goes down for his nap and for bed, he begs me to lay with him for a few minutes after we have read a book and said our prayers. We just lay together in silence and hold each other, and I say a silent prayer and think about my life. And when June goes down for her naps, she is a total snuggler so I just hold her and close my eyes and breathe. These times together don't last very long, maybe 10-15 minutes. But I feel that they are helping me SOOOO much and forcing me to slow down and listen to the spirit. This world is so crazy and hectic. It seems like things just keep moving faster and faster and it's hard to keep up. I know that in order to keep my sanity and listen to what Heavenly Father wants me to hear, I have to make time to slow down. It seems funny but it totally makes sense. So if you haven't done it today, please go lay down with your baby or spouse or even alone, and just breathe and listen. I promise you will feel so much better about the day.

Blonde

2010-05-12T10:40:00.000-07:00

So while Kathryn was here we went out and got all the stuff to tranform her into a blonde goddess. Then I watched her transformation. And I couldn't help myself. Sooo... here we are, being total nerds in our matching outfits and blonde hair. There are a TON of pictures so maybe I'll post more later if I am feeling brave.

Disneyland with the Cooks!

2010-05-11T10:25:00.000-07:00

My cousin Kathryn and her husband Travis came to visit us last week from Utah and we had a BLAST! If you know them, then you know they are a TON of fun to hang out with! I will post a series of pictures from our week together because there are a ton of them. Here are some pictures from our trip to Disneyland.

The classic castle picture. We had to take like 10 pictures to get Jet to cooperate. :)

Okay, my kids freaking LOVE It's a Small World. June was honestly freaking out. It was awesome.

Yes, and I like it too.

Travis is mad.

Look at how cute these two are. Sheesh, I love them.

June fell asleep in her stroller and Kat and I were admiring the cute little legs hanging out.

Travis was so cute hanging out with Jet. :)

June got smothered by Kat all week but luckily she is totally used to it. I do not hold back ever. I mean seriously, look at that face.

Jet kicked my butt at the Buzz Lightyear ride/game. Maybe it was because I was too busy taking pictures and not shooting my lazer gun. I totally could have won though. Watch out Jet, because next time I'm gonna destroy your high score.

June was not into this ride, but Dane totally was. hahaha

Yes, they are cute.

I love this picture.

Junie and I were waiting for everyone to ride Star Tours without us. Whatever. I got to hang out with this cute face. And yes, she got smothered with kisses.

New Photography Blog!

2010-04-19T16:37:00.001-07:00

I'm happy to announce that I have a new photography blog! Please be loving with your comments because I am still a beginner and feel extremely insecure. But I am totally loving this and can't get enough of it! And Dane is sooooooooooooooo happy that I have found something that I love to do. He has supported me 1000% and if I didn't have his support then this wouldn't have gotten off the ground.
So please feel free to stop by my blog every now and then and check it out. And if you are interested in having your kids pictures taken and are in so cal, please call me!
So here is the new blog:
www.poppytreephoto.blogspot.com
And just so so you know, Jet came up with the name Poppy Tree. I was going crazy trying to come up with a name (besides just using my own name) and I was driving around in Gilroy with my mom and the kids. As we were in a parking lot we drove by a bunch of blossoming trees and Jet said, "Look Mom! Poppy Trees!" What he was referring to is the little song "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Trees" which is a cute little song about blossoming trees that look like they have popcorn on them. Anyway, I fell in love with it and the name stuck. So Poppy Tree Photography it is. :)

First "official" newborn photo shoot

2010-03-31T21:43:00.000-07:00

So today I did my first "official" newborn photo shoot. Wow, I learned so much in one night. Here is what I learned about photographing newborns:
1. Plan for lots of time. LOTS.
2. They cannot be older than a week. Two tops. This cute little guy was a month old and would not sleep!
3. The room should be really really really warm and the lights should be fairly dim. I thought the room was really warm but he was shivering the whole time! Poor guy. And he also just wanted to stare at the lights on the ceiling the whole time which probably kept him awake.
4. Friends and family are gonna want to watch, so be prepared with room for them or a place to sit. It's kinda like a little show.
5. When a newborn is laying over the side of a bucket/bowl/pot/etc. make sure that the area they are resting their little noggin on is soft and cushy. Otherwise, they look terribly uncomfortable.
6. The baby has to be sleeping. Period. I tried so hard to get some good shots of this little guy when he was awake and I think I got one. Maybe two.
So tomorrow morning they are gonna come back because that's when he's the most sleepy. I hope he behaves himself. :)
Okay, time to edit. Wish me luck!!!

busy busy busy!

2010-03-25T21:30:00.000-07:00

Wow, I have been so busy with everything sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode! I have so so so much that I want and need to do, yet it all is pushed back. But the truth is that the reason it is pushed back is because of my kids and I wouldn't have it any other way. Sometimes I think I spend TOO much time with them. Haha, I hope they don't get sick of me. I guess I'm realizing more and more that they grow up way too stinken fast and if I spend all of my time doing MY stuff, they'll get pushed aside. And then they'll be grown and going off to college and I'll wonder what in the heck I was doing with my time. So my house isn't going to be perfectly clean. It's going to take me a long time to finish projects. I'm not going to be in the best shape ever. I'm not going to look perfectly polished 24/7. But my little family is going to be happy.
Just for fun, I thought that I would write out what my typical day is like. That way when I'm 75 years old and Dane and I are sitting around reading our old journals (and blog entries for that matter) we can say to ourselves, "Wow, we were pretty busy way back then!"
So here it goes:
6am: June wakes up. I nurse her and snug her in bed with Dane... trying to sleep but knowing that I'm only kidding myself. June talks to me until I finally give her attention and wake up comletely.
6:30am: Jet comes and jumps in bed with all of us, and we turn on a show for him. It's usually Sesame Street, Super Why, or Diego.
7am: We have morning family prayer, Dane leaves for work, and the kids and I go downstairs for breakfast. I get Jet settled with dry cereal (no milk... silly kid) or oatmeal. Then I make June some baby food and feed her.
7:30am: I usually turn on Jet's shows while we are all hanging out and still waking up. If it's a preschool day, then I make Jet's lunch and get myself and the kids ready. Otherwise, we all just chill in our pj's for a while.
8:15am: (preschool day) I get both kids into the car and head to school. Jet and I always sing primary songs on the way and say a prayer.
8am: (non-preschool day) I make a list of all the things I want to do for the day (maybe a little ocd but I've been doing this FOREVER. When I was younger I used to write out what I was going to wear EVERY day). It makes me feel good to check things off too. So my list usually consists of cleaning, laundry, cooking, exercising, activities with Jet, appointments, important phone calls, errands to run, showering (yes... that feels like a chore these days with 2 kids), projects to work on, etc. So for the next few hours I work on this junk and check it off.
Jet also has a chore chart (although it is very inconsistant) but whenever he wants a certain toy or something, the chore chart comes out and he has to work on it. Which means I help him. Okay, actually, I do the chores. And it's really hard because he usually just makes things messier. But he's learning the value of hard work, right?
9:30am: June goes down for nap #1. I take her in her room and rock her to sleep to a mix cd I made(mostly Amelie songs and instrumental stuff that I like). While I'm putting her to sleep, Jet usually plays with the dogs or his toys. He's really good about that... and he knows that when Mommy is putting Junie to bed that he has to be really quiet.
After I come back downstairs, Jet and I usually take a break from chores and do an activity like bake cookies, play with playdough, play in the sandbox in the backyard, chase the dogs around the house, etc. Then he likes to have "alone" time to play with his toys. I don't always know how to do it right so he has to play alone. Haha, silly boy.
While he's playing, I go back and forth from working on chores to checking facebook, email, looking at photography stuff online, etc.
11:30am (approx): Junie wakes up and I nurse her. Then I feed her some baby food and play with her for alittle bit. I make Jet and I lunch and we eat together.
12:15pm (preschool day): I put Junie in the car and we head to Jet's school to pick him up.
1pm: The 3 of us arrive at home and I strip Jet down and give him a bath. After preschool he is always filthy. June is now big enough that I can give her a bath with Jet sometimes, so she dives in the and the two of them go to town with a splashing war. I now know that I can't wear "nice" clothes during this process because I am always soaked afterwards.
1:30pm: I get the kids dressed in cozy clothes and we all have a snack. It's usually fruit, popcorn, crackers, or toast.
2pm: I take June upstairs for nap #2.
2:15pm: Jet and I go upstairs and get ready for his nap. I put a diaper on him (he's now potty trained except for sleeping), then we read a book or two. After that, we say prayers and sing a few songs. It's usually a primary song or a song I make up about spiderman/sharks/tigers/spiders/batman/dinosaurs. Then it's kisses, hugs and I love you's.
2:45pm: I plan out/make dinner then work on chores until June wakes up.
4pm: June wakes up and I nurse her. Then we have mommy-daughter time and play. She watches me finish cooking dinner, then I feed her baby food.
6pm: I give June a bath (unless she had one earlier with Jet. Then I get her ready for bed.
6:15pm: Dane comes home and says goodnight to June, and I rock her to sleep.
6:30pm: Jet wakes up and the 3 of us eat dinner together. Then (depending on the day) we all hang out together and play. Sometimes Dane has homework or class so on those days, Jet and I hang out together. I think Jet really likes this time because there is no Junie stealing his spotlight.
8:15pm We start getting Jet ready for bed. It's basically the same thing as the nap routine except we put on his pj's, brush his teeth, and then Dane reads to him. This takes a little while but is extremely effective because we do the same exact thing every night and Jet knows what to expect. He goes to sleep really easily because of it. This time is also really special because Dane and Jet get alone time (well, sometimes I join in or do it when Dane has class) but it's so so great. I love hearing the two of them laughing and being silly up in Jet's room. while they're doing that, I usually get myself ready for bed because I take longer than Dane.
8:30-9pm: Jet goes to sleep and Dane and I hang out. We read scriptures, then usually watch one of our favorite shows (The Office, Lost, American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance).
10:30pm: I nurse Junie one last time before going to bed with Dane.

PHEW!! That was nuts.... that seriously took forever!!! Haha, well it's fun to think about how my days go. Of course every day is different but that's usually the flow.
OKay, well I'm gonna go and be a mother and wife now and get off this crazy computer.
bye bye.

My Mom

2010-03-18T23:17:00.000-07:00

I should definitely be in bed right now since I am drained, but I have some things on my brain that I want to get out. I figured that since both the kids are asleep and I finally have a free minute to myself, I should do it now before I forget.
This week I got the chance to drive up to Hollister with the kiddies and hang out with my folks. I remember flying out to Utah when I graduated from high school and thinking about how glad I was to leave. I had no idea what I was thinking. I love my parents so much. I specifically want to talk about my mom because I've been able to spend a lot of time with her this week. My mom is amazing. It's very frustrating for me sometimes to embrace this fact because I used to think my mom was the strictest, evilest, meanest meanie on the block who wanted to ruin my life and the lives of all my friends and acquaintances. But the truth is that my mom is so awesome. She is crafty, silly, fun, quirky, smart, talented, beautiful, outgoing, opinionated, fair, loving, humble, spiritual, and well-rounded. My mom knows how to do everything. EVERYTHING. She knows how to take professional pictures, make soap, crochet, eat nutritiously, cook, bake, sew, make a website, edit pictures, scrapbook (and digital scrapbook too!), sing alto, give haircuts, give Swedish massages, run a business (swim lessons), grow a garden, be a temple worker, do genealogy, raise a family, be a loving wife, make flower arrangements, entertain grandchildren, do interior decorating, utilize homeopathic medicine, gee... the list could go on forever. My mom is one amazing lady and I am so so so grateful that she is MY mom. And now that I have my own little daughter, I just imagine my mom sitting and holding me the same way that I hold little Junie. I love my babies so much, and I never really understood the love that my mom had for me until I experienced that love for my babies.
So Mom, now I understand. And I want you to know that I love you soooooooooooooooo much. You've taken such good care of me and raised me to be a happy, healthy, successful girl. You mean the world to me and I will always love you.

Goodbye long hair!

2010-03-03T15:09:00.000-08:00

Before:

And after:

I am sooooo excited about the new look! I hope you like it too. :)

A little dressy dress I made

2010-02-26T10:36:00.000-08:00

I made a dress for June and it was tons of fun. I haven't sewn anything for quite a while so it was fun to get back into it. Here is the final project.

Oh Jet!

2010-02-16T16:38:00.000-08:00

So I just posted this on facebook, but I decided to include it on here because I was laughing so hard and I thought you all could use a good chuckle. Anyway, Jet just came up to me and said, "Mom, watch my trick!" He then proceeded to fill his mouth with sand, and washed it down with my soda that was on the kitchen counter. He never fails to keep me amused.

haircut time!

2010-02-01T12:40:00.000-08:00

I've been getting really itchy for a dramatic hair change, and everyone knows that I change my hair ALL THE TIME. And I like it. I think it's a lot of fun and I look forward to the change. Besides, it's only hair and my hair grows back SUPER dee DUPER fast.

So this is what I'm thinking of doing. I've had it this short before so I know that I like it. I just have to make sure that I can maintain it, otherwise it quickly turns into the ugliest mullet.

So what do you think?

Junie dear

2010-01-30T19:36:00.000-08:00

Today Dane took Jet to San Diego to visit the zoo and spend the night at his parent's condo in La Jolla. So it was girls day with Junie. Although I love my boys so much, it has been so much fun to just hang out with my little sweetheart and give her some one-on-one time since she always has her older brother around.

So this morning after the boys left, Junie and I took a nap together. It was so nice to have a quiet house and we could just snug together. When she woke up, she smiled and laughed at my silly faces. I chewed on her fingers, then on her toes, then on her belly. She loves when I chomp on her and growl.

After that, we took a bath together. I've never taken a bath with her so that was tons of fun. I think she may become a swimmer because I have never seen a baby love the water as much as she does. It's seriously hilarious.... she splashes like a monster and doesn't care if she can barely breath because she's getting water all over her face. I love it.

After hanging out for a few hours, I got June dressed up all cute and we went to my friend Camie's baby shower. She was such a well-behaved young lady and didn't cry at all, although we were there for over 2 hours. After that, we went to the grocery store where she helped me pick out what to buy for Sunday dinner (because after all, she was going to drink it too!), and then we came home to do a little photo shoot of her. By the way, the picture here is not one that I took. The ones I took need to be edited so you will see them later.

After that I got her all ready for bed and then let her hang out on my lap while I checked up on facebook and ordered some really cute fabric online. To be honest, I was just stalling because I didn't want her to go to bed. But it was over an hour past her usual bed time and she was seriously clawing her eyeballs out so I took her upstairs and rocked her to sleep. She is so precious and beautiful and I love her so much. I wasn't sure what it would be like having a 2nd child because I felt like I loved Jet soooooo much, but my heart has just grown and June is seriously awesome. I LOVE MY JUNIE!!!

Wow!

2010-01-29T20:32:00.000-08:00

OKay, okay... wow, what a response! I will keep the blog going! I'm so excited to know that people are reading it. I guess I will have to actually update it more often. You know, sometimes I feel as though facebook has taken over and that is where everyone recieves their updates. But blogs are much more personal and you can include much more information. Anyway, I will do better now that I know people want to keep up with the Winkelmans.

So I (Kim) have been pretty busy these days. I have so many projects that I want to pursue and they are becoming harder and harder to do because either the kids are sick, or the house is really messy, or someone needs to eat dinner. Luckily I have the BEST husband ever because he works his crazy butt off for our family AND watches the kids whenever he can so that I can get a little break. Dane hardly does anything for himself.... he really is one of the most selfless people that I know. Every now and then he will go snowboarding with a friend or watch a UFC fight on tv but that is probably once or twice a month and he always promises to watch the kids later so that I can do something fun. I lucked out big time when I snatched that one up! :)

Anyway, I hope that all 17 of you that read my blog are doing great! T.T.F.N.! (ta ta for now)*

*I'm such a dork.

do you read my blog?

2010-01-21T15:54:00.001-08:00

I haven't posted a new blog in over a month because to be honest, I am under the impression that hardly anyone reads it. So if you DO read it, will you please comment and let me know? Otherwise me and Mrs. Blog may consider parting ways.

baby love

2009-12-03T15:39:00.000-08:00

I love my babies so stinken much. They are so fun and cute and perfect! Both June and Jet have grown so much in the last few months, it's crazy. Time is flying by so fast and I'm trying to take as many pictures as I can and just enjoy every minute with these beautiful children that God has blessed me with. Sometimes I just look at them and think about how much I love them, and then I realize that they are not mine but they are Heavenly Father's and He is allowing me this opportunity to have their sweet spirits in my home. He must think that I am someone special to give me such perfect babies. It's amazing the impact I have on them as well. Jet is such a sponge these days and copies everything that Dane and I say... which isn't always a good thing. He's been saying funny phrases like, "You've gotta be kidding," "What are you talking about?" and "Oh man!" Jet's favorite part of the day is probably night time as we are getting ready for bed because Dane and I give him tons of attention and smother him with love. Dane usually reads him a book (I used to do it, but Dane took over once June was born and Jet LOVES his daddy for doing this), then I join them for family prayer and kisses/hugs. Then I sing to Jet (sometimes Dane joins in which is awesome because he always makes up the best songs) and the songs are either primary songs or songs that are made up on the spot. They're usually about tigers, sharks, lions, frogs, robots, the hulk, or batman. I'm not gonna lie... I'm getting pretty good. :)

June is growing so fast as well and is such a beautiful young lady. hehe, she's still only 5 1/2 months. But she really is such a doll and whenever I take her out I get so many compliments about how she is such a cute and pretty baby girl. She smiles and coos a lot, even though she is teething. Her two bottom teeth are both about to surface at any moment. Although her teething is accompanied by a lot of drool and some fussiness, most of the time she is a very content baby and makes some of the cutest faces I have ever seen.

In a month when I go to Utah for Robbie's wedding, I'm gonna take June to a photographer named Skye Johansen who is super duper talented and takes the cutest baby pictures I have ever seen. She is seriously making me want to become a photographer. Once I get her pictures back I will for sure post them on here.

Before I go though, I just want to mention the most important person in my life: Dane. He works so hard so that I can be home with my babies all day to smother them with kisses and love. If it weren't for him then I wouldn't be able to do what I do. He is amazing and so supportive and helpful and awesome. I'm not trying to brag but I seriously have the best husband. He makes my life perfect.

Well, happy holidays everyone! Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

sickie sickie

2009-11-16T16:38:00.000-08:00

Why is it that you think that you'll never get sick? Maybe it's just me. Every time the flu season rolls around I put off getting a flu shot thinking that I don't need it. Well this year I actually wanted to get it (as well as the H1N1) but put it off thinking that it would make more sense time-wise to get them together. The swine flu shot is still unavailable in our area so I was basically twiddling my thumbs waiting... until BAM! I got stung by the sickie bug. 102 fever, achy, coughing, headache, runny nose, no appetite, and nauseous. Then Jet got it. Then June. Crap. I tried so hard to wash my hands every time my hands even moved slightly near my face. I wore a bandanna over my nose and mouth (which Jet thought was awesome of course, since I looked like a pirate) and even wore latex gloves. I sprayed everything I touched with Lysol. But my efforts were in vain because now Jet is laying in bed hacking up a lung and June won't take a nap because her nose is so clogged up. In fact, as I've been typing this I've run upstairs probably ten times to readjust her so she can fall back asleep. Poor babies. It is no fun at all to be sick but it is WAY worse to have your babies sick. One thing that's really difficult to deal with is not being able to give them medicine. June is way too little to have anything other than Tylenol and Jet can only have the really really mild stuff which doesn't do much of anything. We've basically been depending on the vaporizers, lots of liquids and rest. Today I took both the kids into the bathroom and turned on the shower full blast (hot hot water) to let the room fill with steam. Then I gave them both a bath so they could hang out in the steam for a good half hour. I think it helped... hopefully.
And I think there's something wrong with Dane. I don't think he is human. He hasn't even coughed or anything and we've all been wiping our boogers on him for at least a week now. I think he secretly found the swine flu shot and got it when we weren't looking. Either that or he is about to experience this excitement for himself. We shall see.

October in the Winkelman Casa

2009-11-03T09:50:00.000-08:00

This year for Halloween I had tons of fun hanging out with my cute little family. We just went trick or treating in our neighborhood and Jet helped pass out candy to the neighbors. He totally loved it and took charge. When people would come to the door he would say, “Hey kids!” (and pretty much everyone was older than him). Then he would say, “You want candy? Okay!” Then he would give them a big ol’ handful. He kept getting in trouble because he was only supposed to pass out one candy. We ran out of candy around 8:30 pm but oh well. It was fun to let Jet help out. And then that night when Jet was getting a bath he told Dane, “Dad, this is my favorite Halloween ever.” That really means a lot since he’s experienced so many memorable Halloweens. :) It really was a lot of fun. The day before Halloween we took the kids to Disneyland and had a blast although it was super crowded and it was pretty warm (about 85 degrees). I know it seems crazy but Jet is tall enough now to go on basically any ride. I took him on Splash Mountain and he thought it was really fun, but scary. When I asked him if he liked it (right after we went down the big drop) he didn’t say anything for a minute. Then he said, “Yes, I like it. But no more. All done.” So I think we’ll have to wait a little while before taking him on any intense rides so that he doesn’t get too scared and think his parents are jerks. Dane did take him on Soaring Over California and he barely made the height requirement because it’s kind of a crazy ride. But he really liked that one. His favorite rides are still the little kid ones like Winnie the Pooh and Finding Nemo and stuff like that. He also likes Pirates of the Caribbean and It’s a Small World which are two of my favorites as well. The nice thing about Disneyland is that it is super family friendly so we can take June on most of the rides and she likes looking at all the lights and singing characters. Of course she has no idea what’s going on but she still likes looking around. It’s so much fun having a little boy because Dane and I both feel like we are kids again and we get to see the world through his eyes. We do so much fun stuff all together like building forts in the family room to watch movies, making gak and playdough, painting and making art projects, playing simple board games, reading books, cooking, going on walks to the park, flying kites, etc. Dane is a really good dad too and he spends tons of time with the kids. He tucks Jet into bed every night and reads to him and talks to him. Jet absolutely loves his daddy and it’s so so great to see them bond. Anyway, we had an awesome October. Hope everyone is doing well!

Putting the babe to sleep

2009-10-20T10:28:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite times of the day is when I put June to bed at night. I give her a bath, put on some nice music (songs I like), give her a little mini massage with baby lotion, get her dressed, swaddle her in a blanket, and then rock her to sleep in the rocking chair to the sound of the fan. I don't actually rock her completely to sleep, I usually rock her until her eyes have been closed for a minute and she is drowsy so that she can be aware that I am putting her into her crib. That way she doesn't freak out if she opens her eyes and she isn't in my arms anymore. But I think it is soooooo important and beneficial to have that time with my baby, rocking her to sleep while I smell her sweet skin, memorize her profile, and hold her close. Those awesome nurturing instincts are so strong and it feels so great to fully embrace them. I feel so sad when I hear about people letting their babies cry themselves to sleep, never rocking them and feeling that they shouldn't hold them too much. They don't want their babies to get "too used" to their mama's warm embrace, otherwise they might need it all the time. More than the babies missing out on necessary bonding time, Moms (or Dads) are missing out. I cherish this time and know that children grow so fast. It won't be long until I cannot hold and rock my baby to sleep. Even Jet doesn't like it when I linger too long after we've read him a book and said our goodnight prayers.
I have to admit that I've tried the cry it out method on both of my children, but it lasted no longer than a few days and I quickly gave up. It is one of the worst things in the world to listen to your baby cry and not respond. They are so helpless and scared and you just leave them in their crib to give up? Just imagine if your husband or wife became paralyzed and they couldn't do anything for themselves except cry. Would you just leave them in their bed and then when they start crying you ignore them? It seems hilarious to think about doing that but in actuality that is the same thing. Why are your baby's needs less important than your spouse? For anyone reading this who says, "Well I bet her kids are terrible sleepers because they haven't learned to soothe themselves" well that is not the case. Jet goes to sleep in his own bed, sleeps all night without any interruptions, and takes a 3 hour nap every day. He's 3 and he's been doing that since he was a baby. And June sleeps in her own crib as well (except I bring her into bed for the middle of the night feedings... and I would recommend that to anyone breastfeeding who needs sleep), and is a great sleeper especially since she's had colic. If she wakes up from her nap crying, 95% of the time it's because she's in pain and there is no way in this world that I'm gonna let her just lay there in pain crying so that I can get things done. What's the point in having kids if you're not going to take care of them when they're in pain or need you?
I think my methods of putting my babes to sleep works really well, and I have read and tried many methods. Some of the books that I have read about putting babies to sleep are: The No-Cry Sleep Solution (which is one of the BEST books), The Baby Whisperer (which is pretty good... I like her style but I am way more flexible than her), Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems (the Ferber method: letting your baby cry it out), The Breastfeeding Book (Dr. Sears.... great book), The Happiest Baby on the Block (which is the very reason both my babies have been swaddled and use pacifiers), Baby wise(which says to put baby on a schedule... I tried this and it failed horribly because June wouldn't stick to the schedule and I kept breaking down crying because I was "failing," plus my milk supply plummeted and I refused to let her cry it out), and What to Expect the First Year.
Both my babies have had colic and I have managed to get them to sleep. So if you have any questions about how to put your baby to sleep without making them cry it out, I am your woman!

We're doing GREAT!

2009-10-17T12:22:00.000-07:00

I don't like going this long between posts, especially when things have been going as well as they have. First off, June is doing AMAZING and I am officially off the elimination diet! It took some time and transitioning and I was REALLY scared, especially to introduce dairy back in. But she is doing so well and hardly seems fussy at all anymore. And I hate to admit it, but I think Dane was right when he told me that the most important thing with her colic would just be "time." I wanted to fix every little thing, and because I couldn't fully control it I was going nuts. But the Lord has a purpose and a plan with everything and I needed to go through all of that. It was SUPER hard but I am so much stronger because of it. She is the most beautiful baby girl and I absolutely adore her. Just this morning I was chewing on her delicious tummy and she started busting up laughing! She laughed so hard, I loved it! She is a really happy baby and really content with life. Jet totally loves her too and enjoys playing the role of the protective big brother. He's taken ownership of her by telling everyone (including Dane and I) that it's HIS baby sister. He likes telling June that she can't do things because she's still a baby but someday when she's a big boy like Jet then she can. I like getting in on the act by telling Jet that the reason June is fussy is because she wants a donut/to dance/to play in the sandbox etc like Jet. He hugs and kisses her saying, "Someday baby. You'll be a big boy like me." I got her a brand new bumbo seat and I showed Jet that she was gettig bigger because she could "sit up." He got super excited and said, "Yay! Now June can eat a donut!" I think he is ready for her to get bigger so he can have a little friend to play with.
We have so much fun as a family. This morning all four of us snuggled in bed watching cartoons and then afterwards we had a dance off to the songs on my blog. Dane totally won. Then we went to the pumpkin patch and let Jet go on some of the rides. He went into this inflatable tiger that had a HUGE slide and I don't think he realized how big the slide was. He went down one time and after that he got freaked out at the top and wouldn't go down. Finally he went down with one of the workers, but he was seriously the smallest kid by a lot. He's so much fun. And June didn't cry the entire time we were there, even though it was 98 degrees outside.
Anyway, our family is doing great and we are all healthy, happy and ready for Halloween!

Ali came to visit!

2009-09-10T11:45:00.000-07:00

My dear, sweet, awesome friend Ali Wicknick (formerly Sunseri) drove all the way out from Kaysville, Utah with her daughter Jaiden to help me out for the week. She also kept me company since Dane was at Catalina Island for 4 days with all his guy friends. It was tons of fun and Jet totally loved Jaiden. While Ali was here we also went out to Placentia (near Anaheim) to visit Crysta who is now 37 weeks pregnant and super cute. The Lord has blessed me with such awesome friends.

Happy June = Happy Mommy!

2009-09-01T21:16:00.000-07:00

First off let me just say: ELIMINATION DIETS WORK!!!!!!!!! June is doing AMAZING and I was a little scared at first to post about it because I really wanted to be sure that it was working. And now I know with 100% surity. They work! June is sleeping amazing, is hardly crying anymore. She is so happy and I am so happy.

FIRE!

2009-09-01T08:32:00.000-07:00

Crazy fires! We are less than a mile away from two big fires going on right now in Yucaipa. In fact, from our front yard you can actually see the flames. As I was dropping Jet off at preschool today (his was one of the only schools in the city not being closed) I was driving home and watched a helicopter get water from the regional park which is right behind our house, and then lift it into the air. As he was flying over my car he spilled some water and at first I thought it was raining! But when the "rain" only lasted for 2 seconds and I looked up to see the helicopter right above my car I realized what was going on.
The city of Yucaipa looks like a war zone right now, and sounds like it too. For the past 3 days my kids have been struggling to take their naps because helicopters are flying back and forth right over our house. And I swear there are just as many fire trucks as there are regular cars on the road right now. Dane and I even spotted a Fresno fire truck last night. And nobody is looking where they are driving because they are watching the fires. In fact, today as I was driving a woman in front of me just stopped in the middle of the road to watch some flames! She sat there for like 20 seconds until she finally pulled over.
So here are some pictures to give you an idea of what's going on.

And here are where the fires are located. We live right next to the Yucaipa Community Center (where the evacuations are).

I think we're gettin' there!

2009-08-25T16:43:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted about the Zantac or June's well-being in a while because I've been busy busy busy! I went up to Hollister with my folks this past week because I was having a really hard time with the kiddos. But now I am back and ready to post!

SO...

I changed June's doctor about 2 weeks ago, and he thought I was on the right track and that it sounded like June has food allergies. Maybe. If that was true then I would have to put her on a hypoallergenic formula to see, or take everything out of my diet.

On friday (august 14th)I went up to Hollister with my parents, Zantac in one pocket and mylicon drops in the other. On the second day that I was there, I discussed with my mom that I didn't think the Zantac was working and I wanted to take her off (it had been 10 days will little to no improvement). So I took her off of it, and we decided to do something drastic: an elimination diet. That is where you take everything out of your diet that could cause an allergy: wheat, soy, dairy, beef, eggs, corn, tomatoes, citrus fruits, chocolate, tree nuts, and peanuts. My mom thought I could do it with her help, and she would make me healthy meals to make sure I was eating enough. You do this for 2 weeks to get everything out of your system, and if the baby's symptoms improve then you know it is a food allergy. Then one by one you introduce a food back in (one every four days).Well today is day 10. And guess what? I think it's working! She's been way way happier and is sleeping awesome! So I'm gonna keep this up and see if it goes better. I'll be sure to let all ya'll know!

Here are some of the foods that I've bought for my super exciting diet!

The Zantac...

2009-08-10T16:02:00.000-07:00

So June has been taking the Zantac for 4 1/2 days now. I have noticed an improvement in her naps because she seems to be in less pain. But she has been waking WAY more frequently at night due to gas. She also has really bad diarrhea (sorry June... embarrassing, I know) and seriously has been passing gas as loud as a grown man! And the nasal congestion is still 100% there. I worry that if the congestion continues, she will start to get ear infections just like Jet did. He had 10 ear infections before he turned one and ended up getting tubes in both ears. So I am obviously very scared for little June.
I am going to keep her on the Zantac for a while because I want to make sure I give it plenty of time to kick in and take full effect. But I'm thinking that she might also be allergic to something else that I'm eating (besides dairy, since I already cut that out). So as of today, I am eliminating soy from my diet. After doing some research online, I discovered that many infants who are allergic to something in their mama's diet have chronic congestion (it's been over 5 weeks). And since she has crazy congestion and can't handle dairy, there's a good chance that she's allergic to more than just dairy: soy, wheat, eggs, or tree nuts. So I'm first gonna try soy. We'll give it 2 weeks and see if her congestion clears up.

I have no idea what to do.

2009-08-07T12:58:00.000-07:00

I am so confused as to what I should do. About 5 weeks ago I noticed that June was getting extremely congested, to the point that she could barely breathe. I thought it was a cold and since I can't really give medicine to a 2 week old baby I just suctioned her nose and decided to wait it out. On top of the congestion, I noticed that she was getting hiccups after every feeding, and she was crying as if she was in pain during the hiccups. After the hiccups stopped, she continued to cry and fuss as if she was in pain. I would try to put her her down for naps and it wouldn't matter if I held her, gave her a pacifier, or nursed her, she would cry and cry and couldn't fall asleep. Once she did fall asleep, she would wake up about every 15 minutes and cry as though she was in pain. A week before all this started, I discovered that she couldn't handle dairy so I completely eliminated it from my diet. On top of that, I eliminated caffeine, spicy foods, and onions. She is 100% breastfed... I don't use bottles (only on rare occasions) so I knew she wasn't getting air in her tummy from that (which is common). I burp her during feedings and after. She doesn't spit up and was gaining weight like a champ so I ruled out acid reflux, until one of my close friends was at our house and as she was holding June asked me if I thought she had acid reflux. Her daughter had it and June was acting a lot like her. But the difference between her daughter and mine was that June wasn't spitting up. After doing some research online I discovered something called "silent reflux." It's where the baby has all the syptoms of reflux but doesn't spit up because the stomach acid comes up but goes back down before it gives the baby a chance to spit it up. That means it's twice as bad as regular reflux because it burns going up AND back down. And babies with silent reflux tend to nurse more often (it coats their throats so they aren't in pain) so they end up gaining weight. But silent reflux is very hard to diagnose because the two main components of acid reflux are gone: spitting up and weight loss. I called June's pediatrician and explained the situation and he was no help whatsoever. He said he had never heard of silent reflux and if she wasn't spitting up then it wasn't reflux. He told me to cut dairy out of my diet (which I was already doing) and to give her saline nasal spray to clear up he nose. And he said that she just has colic and I need to wait it out. That seemed like the most lame answer I had ever heard... like he was just brushing me off! I told him I KNEW it wasn't just colic because Jet had colic and this wasn't it. He said to wait a week and call me back if the saline spray wasn't working. Well it's been a week and no, it hasn't been working. SHE IS IN PAIN! The congestion seems to be a side effect of whatever else is going on. And if it truly is acid reflux and it goes undiagnosed, serious damage could be done to her esophagus, throat, and stomach.
Since I realized the doctor was going to be no help whatsoever, decided to move on. Dane's dad is a doctor and his mom is a nurse practitioner so I explained her symptoms and asked if they would prescribe an antacid for her to see if it helps. They prescribed Zantac and I tried the first dose last night. I'm nervous about giving my tiny baby the medicine though. Last night about an hour after I gave it to her she spit up a TON, and the same thing happened this morning. She didn't seem any better but I'm gonna give in at least 5 days to see if it helps.
Wish me luck. I will report back later.

Hospital pictures

2009-06-28T14:26:00.000-07:00

Here's how she got here:

2009-06-28T10:52:00.000-07:00

So here's the story about how June arrived on June 19th, 2009. On June 15 (Monday) I went to my doctor appointment to see how things were coming along. To their surprise (and mine) they discovered I was 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced which basically meant I was in labor. The doctor told me that technically I could go over to the hospital right then and that they would most likely keep me there and induce me because anyone that is 4 cm dilated is usually not sent home. Wowzers! I was so nervous, I was shaking like crazy. I called Dane and we went out to lunch and decided that since I was only 37 weeks and 2 days along and since Dane had an MBA final on Thursday and some really important meetings in the next few days that I should put myself on bed rest and try to be REALLY careful. So that's what I did. I had some pretty crazy contractions the next couple of days but nothing that caused me to drive to the hospital. I did however, call my parents and told them that they might want to head down to southern California because their granddaughter was going to show up any time. So Thursday afternoon my parents arrived, Dane took his final and finished his work meetings, and I had the hospital bags packed. I was sure I would have the baby that night. Although the contractions that night kept me up, she decided that she wasn't going to come out.
Sooo...
Friday morning we made a decision: we were going to go to the hospital and have them see how far along I was because I was SURE that it would be any minute. And they would probably keep me there since that's what my doctor told me. Let me just point out a couple important little things. We live 30 minutes from the hospital. I tested positive for Group B strep which meant I had to have antibiotics put into my IV at least 4 hours before the baby was born. And I lost my mucus plug on Wednesday. With all those things in mind, we felt like it was time.
So we drove down to the hospital and I admit it felt a little phony walking in and NOT having crazy contractions or having my water be broken. We went in through the emergency room and when they asked me what was wrong I told them that I was going into labor, then they started laughing and said I looked great for being in labor. I was so emotional, I totally started crying because I wanted this moment to be special and I felt like they weren't taking me seriously. :(
So they led us upstairs to labor and delivery and when we got there I told them my situation and they asked who my doctor was. I told them, "Dr. Eugene Albright" and they all stared at me in confusion. Then one nurse who recognized the name told me that he no longer delivered at that hospital. SAY WHAT?! My doctor KNEW that I had to deliver at that hospital because of my insurance and they never said anything to me. Sheesh. Oh well, I was there and to be honest I didn't have a really close relationship with my doctor anyway, so I told them that I would let someone else deliver my baby. There was a midwife working when we got there and so she came in to check out our situation. First, she checked to see how far dilated I was, and to my surprise I was still only 4 cm, and 80% effaced! Next, she checked my heart rate and it was SUPER high. I tried telling her that I was just nervous, but she was really worried about it. We waited there a little while longer and my heart rate wasn't going down, so she decided to run some blood tests on me since I have an RH negative blood type. That meant that we would have to wait in the hospital for 2-3 hours until the blood tests came back. During the time that we were waiting, she came in and told me that I probably wouldn't be able to deliver today because my contractions were 15 minutes apart (they needed to be closer together) and I was still doing pretty okay, unless of course my blood tests came back and were bad news.
At this point, Dane and I were pretty bummed because we were sure that I was farther along and that they were going to induce me. I said a silent prayer and told Heavenly Father that I was ready, but that I would be willing to wait as long as needed to make sure that June came out safe and sound. I told Him that I would listen to the spirit and do His will, no matter what it may be. And I knew that God would send her when it was time because Friday night Dane gave me a blessing and asked God to help everything go smoothly, that she and I would be healthy and safe. So I felt peace and knew that when it was time, it would work.
Well, after the blood tests came back and everything was normal (they realized that I was probably just nervous) the midwife out of the blue told me that she spoke with the attending doctor and they decided that I could get induced if Dane and I wanted to do that. We were totally in shock and had already called my parents to tell them that we would be discharged soon. So Dane and I each prayed about it and we felt like we should do it. I was still nervous about it so when the midwife came in and asked us what we decided, I told her that I wasn't sure. She told me that they usually induce patients who are dilated to a 4, and that she was concerned about my distance from the hospital and not being able to get the Group B Strep antibiotic in time. So then she said, "Well then I've decided for you... you need to stay here and get started with pitocin." So that was that. We came into the hospital at 11am, got the blood test at 12pm, got the results at 3pm, and got induced at 3:30 pm. I didn't start feeling contractions until about 4pm, but once they started I had them for a good 3 1/2 hours before I got the epidural. The reason I waited so long to get the epidural is that I wanted to endure them for as long as possible to move things along (they say that once you get the epidural, things slow down). Everyone told me that I handled 'em like a champ but to be honest, they didn't seem THAT bad. Once 7pm rolled around then I really started having severe pain, to the point that I couldn't talk or breathe or really even think while I was having the contractions. I knew it was time. So they came and gave me the epidural and it really was nothing... people build it up way too much. By this point, a new doctor (actually a resident) was on duty and his name was Jaime Lipeles. He's the one that eventually delivered June. Now here's where it really got crazy: once I got the epidural I couldn't stop shaking! It was almost more difficult to deal with the shaking than it was to deal with the contractions. But my mom and Dane both helped calm me down by using a cold washcloth on my face, massaging my head, and basically just staying by my side and showing me love. I felt so crazy at this point. I had the epidural coming out of my back, an IV with 4 different tubes coming out of my arm (including penicillin which stung really really bad), a catheter, and then they came in to give me an oxygen mask because I wasn't getting enough oxygen for the baby. And I was STARVING because I hadn't eaten for 12 hours, so with everything going on I seriously felt like I was on another planet. During this whole time my dad, Dane Sr. and Penny were all helping to take care of Jet until about 9:30pm. Dane Sr. left because he had to work in San Diego in the morning, my dad left to take Jet home and put him in bed, and Penny left because there could only be 2 people in the delivery room at a time and so I wanted Dane and my mom there. Luckily at about 10:30pm they came in to check on me and discovered that June was ready! So they had me do one round of "practice" pushes, and then on the second round of pushes she was out! And there was no episiotomy or tearing so I was super lucky. They immediately put her on my chest and let me bond with her, then they cleaned her up, checked her weight (5 lbs, 10.7 ounces), her height (18.5 inches), checked her vitals and then gave her back to me so I could breastfeed her. She was beautiful. I was so happy that she did end up being a girl, was healthy and had all her body parts. She was so tiny and delicate, more than a pound lighter than Jet when he was born. But I knew she was going to be little because all throughout my pregnancy the doctor told me that I was measuring small, but that she was healthy. My first ultrasound even bumped up my due date to July 1st instead of the 4th, so she was definitely considered full term. Dane thought she looked perfect. Most newborns look a little funny when they're born but he thought that she looked pretty and cute.
We stayed in the hospital till Sunday and during our stay there I had the most wonderful lactation consultant that helped me breastfeed. I swear it was because of her that I was able to do it with so little pain. Everything about my hospital stay was great except that they had this really stupid policy that husbands couldn't stay the night. When they first told us that we thought they were joking. After some convincing, they let Dane stay the night with me but it really was quite crazy. I had to re-explain to every nurse that came into my room why Dane was there, and we had to share a tiny little twin size hospital bed. So the next night Dane decided to just stay home. I missed him so much, it was the weirdest thing being there at the hospital without him by my side. Other than that, it went really well. But I was excited to go home and be with my family, especially Jet (since I hadn't really hung out with him since Friday morning).
Ever since we got home things have been going really well. June is breastfeeding like a champ, Jet is behaving himself and helping with little tasks like throwing away dirty diapers and helping me burp June, and Dane has been able to get time off work and take care of Jet and the household chores. It's been awesome and I love our newest member of Team Wink.

I love my family!

2009-06-25T11:25:00.000-07:00

I sure don't know if it's normal to feel this happy one week after delivering a baby, but I am the happiest that I have probably ever been in my entire life. I feel so sooo blessed to have the most beautiful little family, especially my dear husband. Ever since we got home from the hospital he has completely taken on the role of being Jet's waiter/servant/entertainer/slave and has taken him on numerous walks and bike rides, read him book after book, played hide and seek, had tickle wars, fed him nutritious meals, spent hours in the sandbox, got him dressed, took him to the park, etc. He has also helped support me in every way possible so that I can breastfeed June and take care of her and myself so that we will be able to recover quickly and comfortably. I have fallen so much more in love with my husband these last few days because I have truly seen how devoted he is to his family and his wife's comfort.
My parents have also meant so much to me while I was in the hospital. They drove down from Hollister and took care of Jet for 3 full days so that Dane and I could be together while June was born. They completely spoiled him (which he needed, considering both his parents suddenly went missing) by taking him out to McDonald's, giving him little toys and treats, playing games with him and so on. And I know that boy is a little ball of energy so it was no easy task. My dad had to help put Jet to bed my reading him "Ten Apples Up on Top" and singing "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree." My mom was also there at June's birth which meant the world to me. She helped keep me calm by massaging my head and using a washcloth to wipe off my forehead and face when I was a nervous wreck and couldn't stop shaking. She took the most beautiful pictures and captured moments that would be impossible for Dane and I to do had we been there on our own. My parents also spent their 29th anniversary AND father's day here with us, and then the rest of the day driving home. They were completely selfless and loving and showed so much love for their daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren. I love them so much.
And gosh, while I'm at it I HAVE TO talk about Dane's parents. My mother-in-law Penny drove up from San Diego as soon as she found out I was in the hospital and brought us food at the hospital. My father-in-law Dane came over to the hospital to help make sure everything was going well (he is an OB-GYN) and helped give some much needed input and advice on delivering the baby. He and Penny went to Costco and stocked our fridge full of food and got a huge box of diapers and baby wipes. And on Monday Penny watched Jet for a few hours so I could rest, and she fed him, made dinner for us and cleaned up our kitchen.
I have the most amazing family.
I will write about my delivery and baby June in the next blog because she is waking up and wants to eat! Time is limited these days. :)

hair and psychology

2009-04-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

I know that people must think I am so bipolar when it comes to my hair, but I think I want to go brown again. Blonde just requires too much maintenance, and that's not fun while I'm pregnant and wont be fun with a newborn. By going back and forth from being a blonde to a brunette, I've noticed some very interesting things. I've noticed that people treat me slightly different when I'm blonde: like I'm not as smart and that I'm younger than my real age. I notice that old men look at me more as a blonde. Gross. As a brunette, I've noticed that people take me a little more seriously and think I'm more artsy or something. I'd be very interested in learning about this in a psychology class. Oh and speaking of psychology, I am now back in school again majoring in psychology! I am officially a student at Utah State University but only taking online classes. They offer the entire psychology program online... and since I have my associates, I'm hoping that this wont take TOO long. With two kids and only taking 1-2 classes at a time I guess I wont be done tomorrow but I'll get there.

So anyway, when I change my hair I'll be sure to post some pictures. And don't worry, I'll post some more pregnancy pictures too. I know some of you are waiting for them, and they are on the way!

Poor little Jet. :(

2009-03-11T15:54:00.000-07:00

I feel so bad for Jet. Today I started working on the new baby's room and set up the crib (which of course is Jet's old crib). He walked in the room to see what I was doing and I told him that I was getting the crib ready for the new baby. He totally started crying and said, "No baby! Jet's bed, not baby's bed!" When I tried to comfort him by showing him his awesome big boy bed, he pointed to his big boy bed and said, "Baby's bed!" and then pointed to the crib and said, "Jet's bed!" I have a feeling that this may be tough when #2 comes along. I've been trying to get Jet ready by reading lots of library books about new babies, getting him excited about being a big brother, and even let him carry around a doll to practice baby stuff on. I thought it was going well, but now that I'm working on the baby's room I'm not so sure. After seeing Jet cry today, I felt so bad for him. I don't want him to feel replaced or ignored, but the truth is that he will get somewhat pushed aside due to the demands of caring for a newborn. I hope I can figure out how to make this transition a smooth one.

Here's the belly!

2009-02-11T15:14:00.000-08:00

Here I am at 19 1/2 weeks. I just finished posting a couple of pictures on facebook, but decided to not put all of them because I don't know how many people really want to see my bare, pregnant belly. So for those of you who choose to look at my blog, you can decide whether or not you'd like to indulge in these rare photos.

As you can see, Jet enjoyed being in the pictures at well. He's such a goofball.

potty training extravaganza!

2009-01-27T16:07:00.000-08:00

We've been potty training Jet and it's been the CUTEST thing ever. When he goes potty and gets a candy, we all dance around singing "Diego!" (which is his potty's cartoon character) and make up beats and songs about Jet and his potty power. Jet gallops around the house shouting "Ya!" without any pants on, throwing his fist into the air with 3 little m&m's inside his hand. We all go nuts, dancing and singing and running around, all 3 of us. It's a total celebration.

A couple days ago I put Jet on the potty for a 2nd time (because he said he needed to go again-but I knew he just wanted more candy) and after poking his privates he looked up at me and said, "Empty."

A few hours later, Jet brought his Hulk stuffed animal in the bathroom to show him where he went potty. As he was showing Hulk his potty seat and step he said, "MINE, Hulk." He wanted to make it clear that Hulk couldn't use them. And then when the babysitter came over that night, I laughed so hard when I walked in the room and Jet had put his potty seat on her lap to show it off. I hope she didn't mind.

Yesterday when Dane was at work, Jet went potty. Jet had been celebrating with the whole family all weekend so when he got his candy and was ready to celebrate he looked up at me in confusion. He called out for Dane but since there was no answer he looked up at me (while holding his hand up to his ear) and said, "Call Dada." I hesitated because I wasn't sure Dane could exactly celebrate at his work desk the way Jet would want. I called Dane and he had to go outside to celebrate with Jet on speakerphone. I hope Dane doesn't lose his job now for taking personal calls outside during work time. But Jet was sure happy. :)

It's a girl!

2009-01-19T14:01:00.001-08:00

Being the impatient girl that I am, I decided to go to an ultrasound clinic that determines the gender of your baby early. So now I know: it's gonna be a girl! I am sooooooooo excited that I am gonna have a little girl to dress up and hang out with. Of course a boy would have been wonderful as well, but knowing that I will have at least one of each is quite a nice feeling. I went shopping with my friend Camie in a baby store and it was quite strange looking in the girl area. For anyone who has a boy then you know what I mean. Let's face it, boy clothes just aren't as cute or plentiful. Luckily Jet makes up for it in cuteness. :)

It's going to be strange to start incorporating pink, dolls, bows and all that girly stuff into this very masculine house. I hope Dane doesn't mind. I think he's just happy because I'm not gonna be out numbered anymore, and I will have a new shopping buddy (instead of him). She will be a very welcome addition to the Winkelman clan.

The fetus picture

2009-01-09T16:07:00.000-08:00

Today I was looking through a pregnancy magazine that showed pictures of fetuses at different stages. Jet walked over to see what I was looking at, and I thought it would be interesting to ask him what he thought an 8-week old fetus was. After staring at it for a while he finally said, "Frog... swimming!" Hahaha. His comments never get old.

My sweet baby Jet

2009-01-06T15:56:00.000-08:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhh.....

I think it is time to WAKE UP! I am starting to feel better! I knew it would come, and after 14 weeks of death, I have now risen from the dead.

Today I took Jet on a walk, and I realized once again how quickly he is growing up. It is so amazing to watch him grow yet it breaks my heart. We stopped to play with a ladybug and tried to find it's mama, went on a hunt for the perfect stick, and had races to the park. He held my hand almost the whole time and at one point even looked up at me and said, "Mama, I lu-loo" (which means I love you). For no reason too, just that he felt like telling me. Then we came home and I made him a pb&j... to which he responded enthusiastically with a jelly covered face, "I like it!"

As I was putting him down for his nap I rocked him and sang to him "I am a child of God." I had no idea he knew the words to that song, but apparently he does because he joined in on the second verse! (only about 1/5 of the words, which is still a lot) It was hard for me to put him down and close the door because I know that while he is sleeping he is growing and changing and I don't know if that's what I want. I don't want him to stop telling me that he loves me, and pointing out all the little things that I would never have noticed. I don't want to stop kissing him as much as I do, even if that's one million times a day. He lets me. And I need it.

He is so perfect to me, tantrums and all. And now I'm starting to understand the way that my parents love me, and even get a glimpse of the way the Lord loves his children. And it must break His heart when we stop telling Him that we love Him and become too "old" or too "cool" for that. I hope I can be more like my sweet little baby Jet and notice all of God's amazing creations, and then let God know that I love Him.

When I feel better

2008-12-03T09:34:00.000-08:00

I decided today that I want to make a list of all the things I want to do once I am done with this morning (all-day) sickness which has taken over my life. No joke, I really haven't been able to do anything except for keep Jet alive and watch lots and lots of Disney movies and Go Diego Go. So here it is:
1. Fix my hair. Dye, cut, etc.
2. Go out to eat
3. Clean my house
4. Play music with Dane
5. Take Jet somewhere really fun
6. Start working on the babe's room
7. Eat. Anything.
8. Start working out again (I stopped 5 1/2 weeks ago... the day I got sick)
9. Decorate the house for the holidays
10. Go shopping and take longer than 20 minutes
11. Go for a drive downtown without holding my breath as I pass every food joint
12. Make dinner for my poor, hungry husband
13. Go to all 3 hours of church
14. Do the laundry
15. Get out of bed!

Wow, after reading that list I got really really excited. I can't wait!!!!

Hulk and his babies

2008-11-26T14:34:00.000-08:00

Today Jet insisted that I draw the Hulk, and then pointed at different spots on the paper where I had to draw a "Hulk baby." After my beautiful artwork was finished I decided that I had to post it. Enjoy!

What I am thankful for

2008-11-24T09:23:00.000-08:00

This may be an ongoing blog because my goodness gracious, there are so many things to be thankful for. But I've gotta start somewhere so here it goes.

1. My beautiful, wonderful, amazing husband. And like Linda said, getting married to the right person, in the right place, at the right time.
2. My beautiful baby boy, Jetster. The scattered toys throughout the house and the sound of him laughing while he's chasing the dogs.
3. My ability to work with the Lord in creating a new life.
4. My parents and brothers and the eternal love that we have for each other. Being in each other's presence and enjoying our differences.
5. My body that provides a house for my spirit. And it works great!
6. Music and the way it makes me feel. My ability to make my own music as well.
7. My snorty little cheerful puppies.
8. My comfortable and not too warm, not too cold house.
9. Planes, trains and automobiles.
10. My ability to vote.

Hiking in Forest Falls (near our house)

2008-11-17T15:09:00.001-08:00

Cory Ferguson (One of Dane's best friends) came with us up to Forest Falls

We love being outside, and luckily in southern California it's still in the 80's in November! So we are taking advantage of it.

My Family. :)

2008-11-17T14:46:00.000-08:00

This is my darling little family, and this is what we do in our spare time.

Sushi!

2008-11-17T14:38:00.000-08:00

I have a strange new craving that I would have never guessed I'd have while experiencing morning sickness: sushi. I love sushi in general (as long as it's cooked) :) and I'm guessing that it's the combo of wasabi and ginger that is hitting the spot. None the less, it is tasting like magic right now so I guess I'll eat up!

The first trimester blues

2008-11-05T16:14:00.000-08:00

Ahhh, first trimester again. I thought I would never be back at this place but alas, here I am. I can't eat anything except for this little tiny itty bitty list: refried beans, mozza cheese, potato chips, saltines, animal crackers, and ginger ale. I'm not joking. To be honest, it drives me insane when I talk to people who don't get sick while they're pregnant and they have no idea what I am going through. This morning sickness is the very reason I was scared to get pregnant again.
The first week was great, in fact I thought that maybe I would get lucky this time around and not get as sick. No sir, it's full on and I am ready for this to be over. Only 7 1/2 weeks to go till hopefully this all dies down. Hopefully until then I will still be alive to write about trimester 2.